The Essential Guide to Overcoming Avoidant Personality Disorder 62109th Edition

Dear Dr Kantor, our family is so very grateful for this extensive, detailed, and easy to understand insight into the Avoidant personality disorder. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and expertise.S. Emmert

Interesting treatment of an interesting topic which has received very little attention (in the form of works accessible to laypeople). Discusses reasons for this neglect, including the tendency of many professionals to lump AvPD together with Social Phobia (along with the author's reasons why he believes this is a bad idea.)Uses many case studies to illustrate examples of what he's talking about, although sometimes digresses into using examples from his personal/professional life in what seemed like a slightly strange way to me (if nothing else I thought he could have simply described the incidents as belonging to an anonymous client.) This is something he's done in several of his previous works as well. (I have not read either of his works on Avoidant Personality Disorder so I cannot compare this work to them, or say whether it is simply a case of hardcover "rechauffée".)Is generally good about not aggressively pathologizing subjects (although it does creep in a little) and not pulling any political punches in how to locate "blame"; also makes the important distinction that having some of the symptoms of AvPD does not by definition mean one has the full-blown "disorder" (the mental health profession is long overdue for dimensional vs. categorical diagnoses IMO).Makes an admirable attempt unlike many mental health professionals to focus not only on childhood experiences within the context of the parent-child triangle (hangover of Freudianism?) while neglecting peer/sibling relationships and/or larger interpersonal realities. Does not, however, really refer to larger political let alone cross-cultural factors (as when he "diagnoses" a Greek-American man based entirely on a letter without taking into account the family expectations that often exist within that group). Also has the courage to critique the sacred cow of cognitive-behavioral therapy, and make a plea for the integration of (pure) insight-based modes of healing into treatment. (In the context of the former makes the argument that cognitive therapy implicitly blames the patient, since it locates the source of the problems in his/her cognitive processes--I would go one further, however, and say that virtually *all* therapy since Freud has made that implicit judgment about clients since he [Freud] made his fateful decision to declare his patients' descriptions of being molested as subconscious wish-fulfillments [conceptualized thru the Oedipal Complex] rather than literal accounts of sex abuse [or metaphorical representations of extreme boundary violations]).Also makes the unorthodox (to me) suggestion that in some cases pharmacotherapy is *not* indicated, as well as some interesting suggestions for treatment, as when for example he writes that for many avoidants, the advice to "do your own thing" should be avoided, since it often has a tendency to encourage them to continue pursuing isolating and/or idiosyncratic behavior patterns which contribute to their suffering.Technicalities:Would have liked it if he had devoted more than two sentences to passive-aggressive avoidants (especially since he has already written a book on passive-aggression.)Would have been nice if table of contents had included subchapter titles/listings (perhaps a cost-cutting decision on the part of the publisher?).Uses the German word "Anlage" oddly, without capitalizing the first letter or italicizing it or putting it in quotes (editors?), which can induce some people probably not to realize it's a foreign word.The word "lose" is spelled "lyse" several times throughout the text.Also uses the word Zen seemingly to refer to *all* Buddhist practice(s), in the context of discouraging an overly withdrawn approach to the world (did this in a previous book as well). While the point is well-taken it is perhaps somewhat injudicious to true Buddhist practice, Zen or otherwise, since it (to me) conflates much of what these disciplines offer with their popular (mis)conceptions.Misuses the word "disinterested" (like most people nowadays) when he means "uninterested" (disinterested means neutral or objective).As a final note I would love to see this author tackle some other diagnoses, in particular either Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) or PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder)-I think his insights and writing styles could be very useful to many people, myself included.

Some of the case examples seem a bit too personal and almost vindictive.In one case the author sites "a personal friend, a dental school student" who "called once or twice a day to unload his serious emotional problems on me." And then the author goes on to describe how that man broke off his friendship with him.On the very next page he cites his daughter, Carley, who "used to go to the medical school cafeteria dressed in surgical scrubs to pretend she was a doctor (weird, but no weirder than the crush she developed on her dermatologist, whom she used to follow around with a girlfriend, who was also in love with him)." Actual quote... and it goes on to trash her new husband whom he calls "a schizophrenic stalker" as well as her husband's "crazy family." Which all comes across as a bit petty.And then there's the case example from "A negative "review" on Amazon.com" where he quotes parts of a review (not the whole review) where a woman calls another of the author's books "The most redundant book I have ever read...very superficial...some sections...are so superficial he should have left them out altogether..." etc... This is to show that "avoidants" are judgmental and prone to angry outbursts... This along with a heading of another of her reviews, "This flashlight sucks."I found it really affected my view of the author's credibility. I sometimes found myself psycho-analysing him instead of me.There are some great things about the book, though.The author lays out pretty much all the information anyone could want about Avoidant Personality Disorders, including diagnosing and treatment. There were some great insights into my own personal issues, especially in the area of relationships, as well as some good ways to chip away at it the disorder. But it's a very daunting thing to attempt or even to rationalize for an avoidant. It would be much easier for an already fickle, judgmental group of people to accept this material without some of the author's added personal drama.

This book seems like it was written by someone who doesn't really understand psychology and for the express purpose of further lowering the self-esteem of people who have avoidant personality disorder. Please do not show this to your struggling loved ones. Additionally, the prose throughout seemed exceptionally low effort.

This answered the questions about myself, I never thought could be answered. Love. Brilliant. And the only book of its kind.